JAMES 1:17

It has been a really long time since I've blogged, but there really is a blessed reason:) ahmm.... God has blessed Tyler and me with our referral that will be arriving sometime near the end of November!!! To say this clearer, I am expecting!!!!!!!!

Let me tell you I was quite in denial, believing that I had a flu bug that just wouldn't go away. So, after 4 days of exhaustion and nausea (and lack of knowing when my last period was) I decided that I just better take a test (knowing that it would come back negative, like always). Well, it didn't come back negative, in fact, it changed to positive immediately. I had boughten those cheapy generic kind and just knew that I had a defective batch. So, I went to Target and purchased the expensive, digital kind:) Well, four tests later, I was starting to believe.

I'm roughly 12 weeks along, and had my second OB appt/second ultrasound today. And I might add, we have one beautiful baby on the way!!!!! He/she is moving, flipping, twisting constantly and it makes me giddy:) I can't wait til I get a big ol' belly, and no I am not showing yet...

We still desire to adopt an Ethiopian baby in the future, but the process is on hold at this time.

God is a miracle worker! He has blessed us beyond belief and has taken us on a journey of our lifetime:) We are blessed!!

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Phillipians 4:6

"But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:5

"Every good and perfect gift comes from You" James 1:17

Its been awhile...

Sorry all my blog followers, I've been bad about updating lately. This past week Fran e-mailed us the draft of our homestudy. We filled in the blanks to the questions she had remaining. We are still waiting for Tyler's Colorado CPS Background Check to arrive in Fran's mailbox. I contacted the place in Colorado responsible for this and they stated that they mailed it to Fran on March 22nd....so she should be receiving it any day now.

We have kind of been in the waiting game for the past 2-3 weeks, and once our homestudy report is completed we will be back to the paper chase. It has been nice, but at the same time...days seem like weeks. As you can tell, I am not a patient waiter:)

Tyler and I went to a group for Ethiopian adoptions about 2 weeks ago. A couple who had recently adopted a baby boy (Jonathon) decided it would be nice to meet with other couples who have or are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia once a month. It is a nice way to share stories, ask/answer questions, and one day give our child some "look-alike playmates". During our visit, two other couples were commenting on the brand spanking new change in Ethiopian adoptions. What currently is one visit for a week (to pick up your baby) will be two visits. The first visit is shortly after we receive our referral, in which we will travel to Ethiopia and meet him/her and we will actually go to court during that visit. Then, we will have to return home and go back to Ethiopia 10-12 weeks later to pick up our baby (another week long trip). There are several reasons floating around as to why the change.....1. Approx. 40 families have went to pick up their child and they were not the same as their referral pic/info...2. Supposedly a couple agencies are not operating ethically and this is a way to closer monitor their actions....

Its kind of a bummer that we will meet our child and then have to leave him/her for close to 3 months. Its kind of a bummer that we will have to make 2 close trips to Ethiopia (20 some hour flight each way). BUT, it will all be worth it in the end. We are slowly inching forward....

Round Two

This week has been spent working with our old agency (The Villages) and our new agency (Adoption Network) gathering documents. I was able to meet with The Villages and get all of our original documents and the notes/home inspection that they have completed. Then, we completed the required documents of Adoption Network. We mailed off all of these on Thursday and Adoption Network received them yesterday. SOOOO, we are caught back up. Fran (our new case worker whom I LOVE) is working on compiling all of this information into our homestudy document. Hopefully, it will be completed in about 4 weeks. We have already started collecting documents for our dossier...

We are now in the waiting period...waiting to hear what our next step is, what our next document to complete is, etc, etc, etc...

The stress has been lifted! If you cannot tell, I am a bit OCD...so if there is something I can be gathering, doing, I am not content until it is done.

Last weekend, we bought several books on Ethiopia, as well as, raising a child from a different race/culture. Tyler spent this week reading a book on Ethiopia culture/customs. So, he has been non-stop asking me "What else do you want to know about Ethiopia?" like a broken record. We want to make sure that we teach our child about his/her country and help him/her to thrive.

Almost every week, I put a prayer request into our collection basket at church. The Chapel then prays for us all week long. We have been asking for God to continue to lead us, carry us, and comfort us on this journey. Today when I got the mail, there was a card from the associate pastor at The Chapel. The card was full of hope and he wrote to us saying that he too has an adopted child. It was a simple gesture, but it meant the world to me:) We know without a doubt that we are pleasing God. I keep reading over and over in the Bible about God's love for the widow and the orphan and how it pleases God to care for these.

We are getting so excited! I feel that the end is drawing closer, with each week. I try to envision what it will be like when we see our child for the first time. It brings tears of joy to me when I think about it:) I cannot wait to get the call!!!

I encourage everyone to read Matthew 25. Here is one of my favorite verses from this chapter:

"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me" Matthew 25:40

God is continuing to bless us, and He knows exactly what we need! We started on this journey saying that we are going to adopt a child in need (one of the reasons we chose Ethiopia, because we felt that there was a great need there) but, as we continue on....I have a feeling that we need this child, more than he/she needs us. Our child has already taught us so much already. He/she has strengthened our lives/love for God and strengthened our marriage (which was already great before).

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

I'm STRESSED!

Wow, what a week this has been! I feel like we just can't get out of this rut...there has been mountains upon mountains.

I have spent the week contacting and interviewing agency after agency, trying to find one that would work with our homestudy. Well, it can't happen. We have decided to use Holt International and they have cooperating agencies that complete their homestudies. We have found an agency (Adoption Network Domestic and International [ANDI]). I just LOVE Frances Anastasio, the executive director. Her personality is awesome and her request for me is to "relax". I needed to hear that:) She expressed that she "really wanted to help us" and explained how she can do that, relatively easily. She was really concerned about the money we had invested already with our homestudy (that wasn't going to work out). When I explained to her that we had only paid the application fee so far she was thrilled. She asked me to contact my current case worker, AJ, and ask her for copies of all that she has done and received from us so far. She will work with that information. She e-mailed me the information that she requires for her homestudies and we have almost (if not all) of the stuff done already. Thank God for this!!

I submitted our online application to Holt International tonight and should hear back from somebody next week.

This week has been one step forward, two steps back....

I know one day we will look back at this and realize that it was ALL worth it. People do not lie when they call this stage our "paper pregnancy".

Oh we can't wait to get our hands on our little one!!!

Boy or girl...what do you think?

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident. (Psalm 27: 1, 3)

What a Journey this has been...

Whew...its been an exhausting few weeks! Last Thursday our case worker, AJ, made another homestudy visit. She arrived around 6:30pm and left around 9. Tyler and I felt like we were in an interview about our lives together. It wasn't bad, nor was it difficult to come up with the answers...since my husband is PERFECT to me:) Really! He is the most loving, forgiving, and supportive man!! We have so much love to share with a child, and CANNOT wait to see who God has for us.

Since all of the issues/changes that have occurred in Uganda, we took some time to examine our path. We feel that at this time Uganda is not our journey, maybe next time around. We have decided to adopt from Ethiopia. Check out Our Ethiopian Olive blog (located in my blog list). We hope to get a baby, and we are not going to specify gender.

Our homestudy visits are complete (that what AJ told us). She just has to compile the information into a document and according to what Ethiopia requires. We now have to find an agency that is approved to complete Ethiopian adoptions. Then, our agency and the other agency with work together to make sure we have every document necessary. We thought we knew which agency we would use, but the one no longer has their Ethiopian program...and the other will not use our homestudy and would require us to have another one...I don't think so!!!

So, this week I am on a mission to find/interview agencies to determine which one is right for us. I feel like we take two steps forward and one step back. But, once again, we knew this journey would not be easy and there would be set backs along the way.

Please pray for us...for guidance, strength, and direction from our WONDERFUL GOD:)

I want to thank everyone for their support and encouraging words!! We cannot wait until we can share news of our little one:)

Our Spoiled Baby

Forgotten Children International Visits Uganda

Tyler and I were privileged to attend the Forgotten Children International Fundraisor/Benefit last evening. It was such an amazing time! A group just returned from Uganda on Saturday. We heard many heart-wrenching stories and watched a moving video. We live as kings here with all of our luxuries that we take for granted. Many of the children in Uganda do not have a pair of shoes for their feet! Can you believe it? I have probably 50 pairs in my closet. I'm not bragging, I'm appalled at myself! There was an 18 year old girl from Uganda who spoke at the benefit. She had been captured by the LRA (Lords Resistance Army) and brutally disfigured (facial). She had been sent to the U.S. for reconstructive surgery. She went back to Uganda to visit her mother awhile ago, and the LRA had murdered her mother (and unborn child) in attempts to punish this 18 year old girl. Anyone who has not heard about the LRA should really investigate. It is ALARMING! To my knowledge, they have moved out of Uganda, but are still in the northern African countries.

This past week has been difficult. The changes in Uganda have shaken my faith. I trust that God is leading us to our child, but I also feel that these changes may be a sign that we need to reexamine. Is He speaking to us? OR, is it the devil trying to steal His thunder?

I received a text from Jade around 2:30am this morning about a little girl that has stolen Jade's heart. This girl was just dropped off at the orphanage and is having a really difficult time adjusting. She is roughly 3 years old. It BREAKS my heart! Jade texted "Please pray that she gets a family soon. I can tell this place is scary for her." So I'm asking all you followers of my blog to say a prayer for this child.

I'm praying hard that their is a positive decision reached for Uganda adoptions by the time of our next home study visit. And, I am praying for the devil to BACK OFF!!!

Home Study Visit #1

Ahhh. I can breathe. It wasn't bad at all. We've survived and passed our first homestudy visit! And, we've found out that we have completed all of our paperwork (except for our references that she forgot to give us the form for). We sat at our table with AJ (our case worker) and talked and talked and talked. She then inspected our home and all is well. She will now compile all of our information into a homestudy document and come back in two weeks to ask us more questions based on our information. I cannot believe I stressed so much about this. But at least we have all of our little odd jobs completed around the house and its super clean to say the least:)

Onto our bittersweet news...

From what I am hearing, the U.S. Embassy met with the Ugandan judges/government/Parliament and have enforced some different rules. Currently, the U.S. is not granting any visas for families who have been granted legal guardianship of their Ugandan babies. What used to be okay was that the Ugandan judges would grant "legal guardianship" and then these families would return back to the U.S. and complete the adoption paperwork. Well, now the U.S. is requiring the judges to write for "legal guardianship with the intent to return to the U.S. and adopt". Sounds easy...but its not. Ugandan judges have an issue with the word "adoption". It goes against their culture. They feel that families need to spend three years fostering their child in Uganda before they will grant adoptions. My heart is heavy!

Our dear friends, The Metz's, are over in Uganda trying to bring back their baby Samuel and are faced with this! God is Good and He does move mountains and this is a BIG mountain. He is the author and giver of miracles. Please pray for a change in heart for these judges. These are good Christian families who are wanting to give a life to a child and to show them how awesome God is!

This is yet another roadblock in our life. Its God's plan, I realize this and have faith in this. Tyler and I are hoping that an answer will be made for Uganda. Our hearts are there. But, we do not want to walk away without our baby. So, we are praying hard for some answers. We will continue to pursue this, but asking God to show us what path He is leading us down. We have discussed some other options and are keeping our hearts open to what His will is. Please pray for us.

God has nudged me to read Isaiah this week. Wow! It is just what I needed.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" Isaiah 41: 10.

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them" Isaiah 42:16.

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze" Isaiah 43: 1-2.

I am constantly amazed at how God works. He knew that I needed this comfort and He is showing me that He will protect us. All things are possible through Him. He did not promise that this would be easy, but He does promise to carry us through and walk with us. I love you GOD!!

Samuel is coming Home!!

I am sooo excited for our dear friends, Jade and Nathan. They are bring baby Samuel home!!! Jade is on her way to Uganda to pick him up! She has posted on her blog a video from their first visit. Check out her blog: inaweofyourgrace.tumblr.com

I cannot wait to meet him! Maybe Jade will meet our child while she's there....

You Have Been So Good To Me

First off, Mr. Peter Nyombi responded to our request. He has given us paperwork that outline the guidelines for adopting/legal guardianship in Uganda. We will get back in contact with him, once we are further along in our homestudy.

Secondly, our church service today was SOOO moving. We spent some time discussing the devastation in Haiti and how we can help. We watched a slide show from Haiti, and the tears started to flow watching all those beautiful orphans.

We sang a song that touched my soul, "You have been so good to me", and I wanted to share some of the lyrics because God has been so good to me!

You have been so good to me
I came here broken, you made me whole
You have been so good
You have been so good to me

You have been so good to me
I came her mourning, you gave me joy
You have been so good
You have been so good to me

How can I thank you
There is just no way
How can I thank you
How could I repay
For your kindness
For you tenderness
For your constant presence here with me

This song is exactly how I feel at this very moment in my life! Your grace is enough for me!

A poem shared by my best friend Jenna

I wanted to share with all this poem that my cousin/best friend Jenna stumbled across.

I tiptoed into your room one night.
I watched you sleeping there.
Your tiny body looked so snug
Wrapped in peaceful slumber's care.
I thought of how you came to be
The child we'd longed to know.
I wondered at the sight of you:
"How could she let you go?"
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I
Felt the pain she must have known.
For I will have to let you go
Some day when you are grown.
A mother I might never meet
Had given me her son.
Yet, surely as you've filled my heart,
A piece of hers you'd won.
"How could she let you go?"
The questions kept returning.
And in the depths of my own heart.
A question kept on burning.
"How can I ever let you go
When years have come and gone?"
I stood there by your crib until
The nighttime turned to dawn.
And as the sun peeked through the shades,
The voice of God broke through.
"I trusted her to give him life
And now I'm trusting you."
"To show him what is right and wrong,
to love him and to be
The one who teaches him the way
To come back home to me."
"He wasn't hers to give, you know.
And he's not yours to own.
I've placed him in your life to love
But he is mine...on loan."

We've Jumped In

Sorry, its been awhile since I've posted anything. Our adoption application is finally turned in and is being processed. I dropped it off in person, rather than in the mail. I wanted to meet this lady, AJ, who is going to be our social worker/coordinator. We are a little overwhelmed right now with all the paperwork and forms!! We each are working on our adoption family inventory...which is a thorough autobiography of each of our lives. I am so blessed to have had such a wonderful childhood and such supporting/loving parents and family. I can only hope to be the parents that my parents were to me. I have been instilled with such Christian values, morals, and beliefs. This process may be very thorough, but I am learning so much about myself along the way.

Tyler and I sent an e-mail to Mr. Peter Nyombi, who is the Christian attorney in Uganda, requesting his assistance with the adoption. We have not heard anything back from him yet, hopefully soon!

I received a moving and heartfelt letter from our friends, Nate and Jade today. I am brought to tears when I think about all the support and encouragement they have brought to us. I pray that one day I can provide the same to another couple in need, who is walking down this path just like we are.

I have grown in my walk with Christ over the past two years.....I am no where near complete. I know many of you will think I'm crazy, but our infertility has been a blessing. It has changed us! For if we had not experienced it, I know I would still be a Sunday Christian. But, I now seek God daily, hourly, constantly! I can't get enough of Him. I know this walk is not going to be easy, but He will carry us through the valleys. There will be many times when there is only one set of footprints in the sand...


Please pray for our friends Nathan and Jade. They are awaiting to hear when they can return to Uganda to bring their baby Samuel home. God, please watch over him and keep him safe until his mommy and daddy can return for him.

She said "YES"

Well, we have officially taken the first real step in our Ugandan adoption journey! Barbara is over the entire Sanyu Babies Home (orphanage). So, the first step is to contact her and ask permission to come and find your child. I was SOOO nervous! I didn't know what to write/ask/say. Before, I started writing our letter, I prayed. I prayed for God to lead my hands and heart in this entire process, and especially right now as I ask for permission. I wrote about Tyler and my life story, about our infertility, about how God is leading us to Uganda and how we know without a doubt that He has our child there. I sent our letter on Thursday around noon. Barbara responded Friday morning:) She said yes! Yes, we can come! My GOD is soooo awesome!!!!

We will start our homestudy now. Once we are adoption approved, I will write to Barbara again and get a date to go to Africa!!!! I cannot tell you how good it feels to have made a first step....I wish we were leaving for Uganda today!

To our future child: I pray everyday for you! I pray that God is watching over you and protecting you. We will meet you soon! We promise to give you a wonderful, wonderful life.

A Note of Praise

I want to take a moment and praise God for blessing me with Jade. Seriously! This girl is amazing and I have not even met her face to face yet. My mother-in-law shared Jade's blog with me about 3 months ago to show us how beautiful their baby Samuel is. Samuel is coming home from Uganda this month:) Isn't it ironic how people enter your life? Her blog is SOOO amazing, filled with such emotion, and just touches your soul. After reading her blog and speaking with her, we knew there was no other way/no other country/no other time than now to begin our journey. And, God has given us an amazing side kick to help us along our way....So Jade, I will never, ever, be able to thank you enough for all your help/kind words/encouragement, and we cannot wait until we can meet you face to face:)

Adoption....

Tyler and I decided to start a family a couple of years ago. After much trying and treatment we were never able to conceive. I just couldn't understand why this was happening. I prayed to God often and asked him to give me a sign. I placed prayer requests into the church baskets, and still nothing. I begged and pleaded with Him! I even tried bartering with God, still nothing. But, He was giving me a sign! I was just not ready to accept it. He was giving us every sign to adopt. I finally accepted this the beginning of December 2009. It was not easy at the time. I was dealing with the pain of never experiencing the joys of pregnancy. I prayed over and over for God to take away my human selfish desires....and He did! God has a plan for each and every one of us. Trust in Him!!
After much research and investigation of various adoption agencies and types of adoption...we have decided to adopt our child from Uganda. Its so amazing how God works and who He works through!

"For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you, you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13