I'm STRESSED!

Wow, what a week this has been! I feel like we just can't get out of this rut...there has been mountains upon mountains.

I have spent the week contacting and interviewing agency after agency, trying to find one that would work with our homestudy. Well, it can't happen. We have decided to use Holt International and they have cooperating agencies that complete their homestudies. We have found an agency (Adoption Network Domestic and International [ANDI]). I just LOVE Frances Anastasio, the executive director. Her personality is awesome and her request for me is to "relax". I needed to hear that:) She expressed that she "really wanted to help us" and explained how she can do that, relatively easily. She was really concerned about the money we had invested already with our homestudy (that wasn't going to work out). When I explained to her that we had only paid the application fee so far she was thrilled. She asked me to contact my current case worker, AJ, and ask her for copies of all that she has done and received from us so far. She will work with that information. She e-mailed me the information that she requires for her homestudies and we have almost (if not all) of the stuff done already. Thank God for this!!

I submitted our online application to Holt International tonight and should hear back from somebody next week.

This week has been one step forward, two steps back....

I know one day we will look back at this and realize that it was ALL worth it. People do not lie when they call this stage our "paper pregnancy".

Oh we can't wait to get our hands on our little one!!!

Boy or girl...what do you think?

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident. (Psalm 27: 1, 3)

What a Journey this has been...

Whew...its been an exhausting few weeks! Last Thursday our case worker, AJ, made another homestudy visit. She arrived around 6:30pm and left around 9. Tyler and I felt like we were in an interview about our lives together. It wasn't bad, nor was it difficult to come up with the answers...since my husband is PERFECT to me:) Really! He is the most loving, forgiving, and supportive man!! We have so much love to share with a child, and CANNOT wait to see who God has for us.

Since all of the issues/changes that have occurred in Uganda, we took some time to examine our path. We feel that at this time Uganda is not our journey, maybe next time around. We have decided to adopt from Ethiopia. Check out Our Ethiopian Olive blog (located in my blog list). We hope to get a baby, and we are not going to specify gender.

Our homestudy visits are complete (that what AJ told us). She just has to compile the information into a document and according to what Ethiopia requires. We now have to find an agency that is approved to complete Ethiopian adoptions. Then, our agency and the other agency with work together to make sure we have every document necessary. We thought we knew which agency we would use, but the one no longer has their Ethiopian program...and the other will not use our homestudy and would require us to have another one...I don't think so!!!

So, this week I am on a mission to find/interview agencies to determine which one is right for us. I feel like we take two steps forward and one step back. But, once again, we knew this journey would not be easy and there would be set backs along the way.

Please pray for us...for guidance, strength, and direction from our WONDERFUL GOD:)

I want to thank everyone for their support and encouraging words!! We cannot wait until we can share news of our little one:)

Our Spoiled Baby

Forgotten Children International Visits Uganda

Tyler and I were privileged to attend the Forgotten Children International Fundraisor/Benefit last evening. It was such an amazing time! A group just returned from Uganda on Saturday. We heard many heart-wrenching stories and watched a moving video. We live as kings here with all of our luxuries that we take for granted. Many of the children in Uganda do not have a pair of shoes for their feet! Can you believe it? I have probably 50 pairs in my closet. I'm not bragging, I'm appalled at myself! There was an 18 year old girl from Uganda who spoke at the benefit. She had been captured by the LRA (Lords Resistance Army) and brutally disfigured (facial). She had been sent to the U.S. for reconstructive surgery. She went back to Uganda to visit her mother awhile ago, and the LRA had murdered her mother (and unborn child) in attempts to punish this 18 year old girl. Anyone who has not heard about the LRA should really investigate. It is ALARMING! To my knowledge, they have moved out of Uganda, but are still in the northern African countries.

This past week has been difficult. The changes in Uganda have shaken my faith. I trust that God is leading us to our child, but I also feel that these changes may be a sign that we need to reexamine. Is He speaking to us? OR, is it the devil trying to steal His thunder?

I received a text from Jade around 2:30am this morning about a little girl that has stolen Jade's heart. This girl was just dropped off at the orphanage and is having a really difficult time adjusting. She is roughly 3 years old. It BREAKS my heart! Jade texted "Please pray that she gets a family soon. I can tell this place is scary for her." So I'm asking all you followers of my blog to say a prayer for this child.

I'm praying hard that their is a positive decision reached for Uganda adoptions by the time of our next home study visit. And, I am praying for the devil to BACK OFF!!!

Home Study Visit #1

Ahhh. I can breathe. It wasn't bad at all. We've survived and passed our first homestudy visit! And, we've found out that we have completed all of our paperwork (except for our references that she forgot to give us the form for). We sat at our table with AJ (our case worker) and talked and talked and talked. She then inspected our home and all is well. She will now compile all of our information into a homestudy document and come back in two weeks to ask us more questions based on our information. I cannot believe I stressed so much about this. But at least we have all of our little odd jobs completed around the house and its super clean to say the least:)

Onto our bittersweet news...

From what I am hearing, the U.S. Embassy met with the Ugandan judges/government/Parliament and have enforced some different rules. Currently, the U.S. is not granting any visas for families who have been granted legal guardianship of their Ugandan babies. What used to be okay was that the Ugandan judges would grant "legal guardianship" and then these families would return back to the U.S. and complete the adoption paperwork. Well, now the U.S. is requiring the judges to write for "legal guardianship with the intent to return to the U.S. and adopt". Sounds easy...but its not. Ugandan judges have an issue with the word "adoption". It goes against their culture. They feel that families need to spend three years fostering their child in Uganda before they will grant adoptions. My heart is heavy!

Our dear friends, The Metz's, are over in Uganda trying to bring back their baby Samuel and are faced with this! God is Good and He does move mountains and this is a BIG mountain. He is the author and giver of miracles. Please pray for a change in heart for these judges. These are good Christian families who are wanting to give a life to a child and to show them how awesome God is!

This is yet another roadblock in our life. Its God's plan, I realize this and have faith in this. Tyler and I are hoping that an answer will be made for Uganda. Our hearts are there. But, we do not want to walk away without our baby. So, we are praying hard for some answers. We will continue to pursue this, but asking God to show us what path He is leading us down. We have discussed some other options and are keeping our hearts open to what His will is. Please pray for us.

God has nudged me to read Isaiah this week. Wow! It is just what I needed.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" Isaiah 41: 10.

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them" Isaiah 42:16.

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze" Isaiah 43: 1-2.

I am constantly amazed at how God works. He knew that I needed this comfort and He is showing me that He will protect us. All things are possible through Him. He did not promise that this would be easy, but He does promise to carry us through and walk with us. I love you GOD!!